As fathers, it’s easy to lose track of the tremendous power we wield. In just a few moments or with just a few words we can change the life of a child, change the way they think about themselves, change the way they think about God, alter their course through life. For the better or for the worse. Everything we do or say (or don’t do or don’t say), has an effect. Don’t be fooled into thinking there is “neutral” time when we are neither adding or taking away from our children. They are always watching, always listening, always learning. And it’s up to us what they see, and hear, and understand. Being a successful dad doesn’t mean giving your children everything they want—it means giving them everything they need. And what they need most from us, ultimately the greatest thing we can do for them is to clearly teach the character of God. They need us to talk about it and demonstrate it. They need us to live it before them. The Bible admonishes us over and over again about this, perhaps most clearly and emphatically in the 11th chapter of Deuteronomy:
“…18 “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 19 You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. 20 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates…”
Look at some of the strong verbs in that passage: impress, bind, teach, talk, sit, walk… This is no wimpy faith. This is boots-on-the-ground faith. This is deliberate, intentional, devoted faith. And it encompasses the entire life of a father, for God commands us to do these things when we sit, walk, lie down, rise up. There is no mention of “quality time” or “someday.” God is not telling us to give our children our spare time and promise them stuff in the future (e.g., ball games, puppies). No, these are every-day, every-moment, imperatives, marching orders; this is the living call of Philippians 2:
“…Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus…”
Men, we are called to surrender ourselves to God for the eternal benefit of others—for our wives, our families, our friends, and perhaps most preciously, for our children. It sounds like onerous bondage, and in a way it is. But the way is God’s way, and when we, through the power of God’s mercy and the faith He gives us, choose to be His bondservants, we find the only true freedom in this world. The freedom to consider our own lives least important, the freedom to give each of our lives away in worship to God as what Romans 12 calls “living sacrifice.” We’ll never do this perfectly, but when we think of our love for God and for those whom He has brought into our lives, we must make this our great striving determination.
We can crush or lift a child in seconds, and the benefit or damage can last a lifetime. The difference between contempt and encouragement can swing on the hinge of a single glance, or just one word. Read God’s Word, my friends. Soak in His character. Determine to live His life while you’re here. And as you raise your children, remember that they are watching your life in hopes of seeing what it really means to be a man. Be a man of God.
Igniter Media produces short films for churches. Beautiful, inspiring, challenging films. The one you will find below I watched over and over again. Tears streaming down my face. Not tears of regret, but tears of gracious thanks. Tears born out of an overwhelming gratitude toward God, who intervened in my life and turned my heart before I had the chance to ruin my children’s lives. I didn’t always do it right (just ask them), but God has been so good to us.
I hope you enjoy the video. And by the way, if all this “God talk” doesn’t make sense to you, if you’re not sure what it means to be a Christian, just drop me a note.